I have always been hopeless at those “where do you see yourself in five/ten/twenty years?” type questions. Honestly, even when I was 4 I had no idea what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go.
That being said, I have a weirdly crazy memory and adore the feeling of nostalgia as I remember random things people have said and done. I also think that looking back allows me to realise all God has done in my life and sometimes maps out where I might be heading.
So in brief, I want to sum up my past year and explore how all things work together for God’s purpose. Amen right?
September 2016: I turn 18.
What? 18? A proper grown up. This probably was the year I’ve actually felt different on my birthday. I was applying for university, getting in gear for A levels and it just seemed like I wasn’t keeping up. My relationship with God possibly wasn’t as great as it should’ve been because I was way too focused on growing up.
December 2016: Friends and Fires
God has a way of putting the right people in your life at the right time in some weird ways. I was not on the market for new friends when I suddenly meet some awesome Christians and manage to reconnect with an old christo pal as well. Through prayer and snapchat these friendships have become solid forces in my life and it was so refreshing to being able to talk about Jesus and life in such a positive way. Shout out to my pals.
Then.. 21st December around 2 AM, an alarm starts going off. Being the chill person I am, I ignore it. A few minutes later my hall is full of black smoke and I end up stood in my pyjamas barefoot on the street. Turns out my dishwasher decided to catch fire and trash my house way worse than anyone did at my 18th birthday party. It sucked. Not only was it the day of my winter ball, but life was completely switched up. Thanks to my Christian friends, who had literally been in my life 2 weeks, my relationship with God was back on track. As soon as I went back into my slightly black-er house, I got out my bible and sobbed. It was super personal. It really brought into perspective that God is a God who is with us in our suffering, and that’s when we need to push into him most because it is where we need his strength to rely on. (Wise words from a team pastor)
2017: I will really be brief now I promise.
I went into the new year slightly more emotional than usual, but knowing I was dependant on God and nothing else. Moving around different houses and 5 months of building work was really not enjoyable. Add into consideration that I had family overseas with the army and my final high school exams lurking. I prayed and talked to people and decided university was not for me this coming September, so I applied and was accepted onto the New Wine Discipleship Year, which I am super excited to be starting in the next few weeks. Whatsmore, my friendships with different people became stronger which was super cool to see.
August 17th was my results day, and I felt sick all of the week leading up to it. Lying in bed at 4 AM hoping for sleep I had the realisation: that it is all in God’s hands. Like, everything. I became aware of his love over the last year and I knew that whatever I gave to God, he would give back. He was so present in exam season and whatever that sheet of paper said, it was for his purpose. I went to bed slightly more at ease and woke up to find out I had A*AAA and find out I had been accepted to study Psychology in 2018. God is so good. Where he had been God in my suffering, he was now God in my rejoicing as well. If I take anything away from this last year, it is that God is good ALL the time.
I know this is super personal (and believe it or not, nowhere near as in depth as I would like to go.) But it is so amazing to look back at everything He has done.
I still don’t know what I’ll be doing in five/ten/twenty years, but I know that I’ll be in God’s hands with him leading the way.